Samantha Jones: role model?
This is going to sound really stupid. But I've recently come to terms with the fact that most of the things that come out of my mouth are stupid. It's part of my charm. The stupid thing that I was going to say is: I love Sex and the City.
I say that this statement is stupid firstly because I understand that show ended about a billion years ago. I know it was exactly a billion years because I remember being one of the few people at a BBQ for the closing of a production of My Fair Lady I was in at the local community theatre in Brownsville, Texas. I played the riveting role of 2nd maid. There were approximately 6 performances. I had, maybe 8 lines to sing. So I opened my mouth about 48 times during the whole run of that show and on the last night I blanked and no lines came out. That brings the total to 40 times (math). Where was my Tony, huh? It was my sophomore year of high school and I had just forced my way into an upcoming production of Godspell and I was looking forward to celebrating. However, everyone else had gone home to watch the series finale of Sex and the City. I ended up having a great time and am actually glad that I waited this long to watch the iconic series.
That brings me to the other reason why I think the statement "I love Sex and the City" is stupid. It is because, as I'm sure you've already thought to yourself... "well, duh". I'm a 25 year old single woman living in the city. Well, ok, a different city. The Second City to be exact. And while Chicago is not precisely like New York, the dilemmas of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte are all totally relatable to me and my life right now (as said just about every other 20-30 something year old female). At the risk of sounding terribly redundant though, I had some thoughts to share 10 years later.
All of my young life I have heard other women call themselves a Carrie or a Charlotte and almost everyone I've met who's a fan of the show has unanimously named me a Samantha. I had some relative knowledge of what that meant having not lived under a rock: she was the slutty one. Armed with that knowledge when I started the series a few days ago, I began to wonder how I felt about this so common sentiment amongst my friends. So, I'm taking a leaf from the Carrie chapter of my metaphorical book and starting this blog to ask some questions. Specifically the questions that this show, that ended nearly a decade ago, provoked me to think about. Tonight that question is: Am I really a Samantha?
Look, I'm only at the beginning of Season 4, so bear with me. (Also, I have managed to stay away from most spoilers of the series, so back off spoiler bitches.) As I said before, I always had sort of wondered how I felt about people, without hesitation, admitting that I'm a Samantha.
On paper I always thought I was a Carrie: maxed out credit cards, gay best friend, unruly yet fabulous curly hair and all. I even sort of resented being pushed aside to one of the supporting characters, but that is a complex I have. I like to think of it as the "Bottom the Weaver" complex of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream (nerd alert). I want to play ALL the roles, especially the most important ones. I am an actor, come on, what do you expect?
Anyway, now watching the show I know pretty much what Samantha is all about and instead of being angry about the comparison I sort of wish that it were true. Man, has this show made me soul search. I feel she is a very heightened extreme version of the woman I wish I could be. I'm pretty open about sex and my sex life and for the most part, at least at this point in my life, I don't want to be tied down by anything or anyone (maybe unless it's literally... but that's my Samantha talking). I wish I could actually be more like Samantha when it comes to relationships. I sometimes find I get too attached to the wrong guys (now that's my Carrie talking). Or I'm too scared to let them completely in and blame it on them being wrong for me (I believe that's my Miranda talking). I haven't had the sexual escapades to Samantha's extent (I'm sure my mother is somewhere breathing a sigh of relief), but I'm only 25. Her view on sex doesn't horrify me as I'm sure it does some people. Even as I type this, though, I have to think that I would be mortified if any of my family members read this (and that's my Charlotte talking).
But the sexual part of Samantha is only one part of her and before I watched the show I thought that was why my friends always pegged me as a Samantha: I'm the slutty one.
--A little digression here. I am currently on a crusade to take the term "slutty" and make it a positive thing. #SlutCrusades #Slutsades? I have been called slutty before, even before I had ever done anything remotely slutty. I used to think it was a bad thing. Then I started watching this little show on MTV called Girl Code. If you are a woman and you haven't seen it, you're wrong. One of the girls said something like "I don't get why slutty is an insult. You're telling me I have a lot of sex. Oh great, what are you going to say next? You're really smart and funny too" I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea. Oh I'm slutty? Thank you! I have found that men think I'm attractive. Thanks for noticing! Digression over in 3...2...1.... Slutsades!--
I think after having watched half of the series that's the thing that makes me least like Samantha. The aspects of her character that I think I have, or hope to have are much more introspective and substantial.
First of all, she is so smart and clever. I wish I could think of half of the fucking awesome things she says. She is the queen of the comeback. She's the comeback queen! Similarly, I also really appreciate her dedication to sarcasm (a club I am fondly a member of).
She's also the most confident character in the history of television. She's like the female Sam Malone (hey! name coincidence?) My new mantra when I go in for an audition is to think like Samantha. If I believe the world is mine for the taking, others will too.
Finally, she doesn't strive for gender equality, she just lives it. She's also not afraid to ask the questions and say or do the things that we know everyone wants to know, or say or do. She doesn't ask permission or apologize for her existence. She just exists. And I so admire that about her.
Lastly, and the thing most important about Samantha is that she is so loyal. And while confident, she is not proud. She forgives and forgets faster than any of the other characters. The number of times Charlotte has said something truly hurtful to her and she accepts her back in her life without another thought is incredible. I find that so strong and admirable. I am not like that. I am obsessive like Carrie. I think it was Miranda who said that Carrie's relationships needed a rear-view mirror because she was always looking back. That's me. Not Samantha. This may be pushing it and even as I'm thinking about writing it I'm in the process of rolling my eyes but, her "Slut" archetype and her casual sexual relationships are sort of a physical manifestation of her ability to accept as well as forgive and forget. It's the shallow aspect of the best parts of her.
All in all, I hope I am a Samantha and not a Carrie. Sexual choices aside (I don't really care what you do or don't do with your body and she does it safely... but I realize its a touchy issue. I'm not an idiot), I think she's the best role model of the four. She isn't judgmental, she is a fierce friend and exactly the kind of woman I wish I could be. So, I'm sorry to my friends for thinking all these years that you thought I was a one dimensional side kick. Thanks for seeing more in me than I did. I hope to live up to your expectations. And Kim Cattrall: you are my hero.
Look, I'm only at the beginning of Season 4, so bear with me. (Also, I have managed to stay away from most spoilers of the series, so back off spoiler bitches.) As I said before, I always had sort of wondered how I felt about people, without hesitation, admitting that I'm a Samantha.
On paper I always thought I was a Carrie: maxed out credit cards, gay best friend, unruly yet fabulous curly hair and all. I even sort of resented being pushed aside to one of the supporting characters, but that is a complex I have. I like to think of it as the "Bottom the Weaver" complex of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream (nerd alert). I want to play ALL the roles, especially the most important ones. I am an actor, come on, what do you expect?
Anyway, now watching the show I know pretty much what Samantha is all about and instead of being angry about the comparison I sort of wish that it were true. Man, has this show made me soul search. I feel she is a very heightened extreme version of the woman I wish I could be. I'm pretty open about sex and my sex life and for the most part, at least at this point in my life, I don't want to be tied down by anything or anyone (maybe unless it's literally... but that's my Samantha talking). I wish I could actually be more like Samantha when it comes to relationships. I sometimes find I get too attached to the wrong guys (now that's my Carrie talking). Or I'm too scared to let them completely in and blame it on them being wrong for me (I believe that's my Miranda talking). I haven't had the sexual escapades to Samantha's extent (I'm sure my mother is somewhere breathing a sigh of relief), but I'm only 25. Her view on sex doesn't horrify me as I'm sure it does some people. Even as I type this, though, I have to think that I would be mortified if any of my family members read this (and that's my Charlotte talking).
But the sexual part of Samantha is only one part of her and before I watched the show I thought that was why my friends always pegged me as a Samantha: I'm the slutty one.
--A little digression here. I am currently on a crusade to take the term "slutty" and make it a positive thing. #SlutCrusades #Slutsades? I have been called slutty before, even before I had ever done anything remotely slutty. I used to think it was a bad thing. Then I started watching this little show on MTV called Girl Code. If you are a woman and you haven't seen it, you're wrong. One of the girls said something like "I don't get why slutty is an insult. You're telling me I have a lot of sex. Oh great, what are you going to say next? You're really smart and funny too" I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea. Oh I'm slutty? Thank you! I have found that men think I'm attractive. Thanks for noticing! Digression over in 3...2...1.... Slutsades!--
I think after having watched half of the series that's the thing that makes me least like Samantha. The aspects of her character that I think I have, or hope to have are much more introspective and substantial.
First of all, she is so smart and clever. I wish I could think of half of the fucking awesome things she says. She is the queen of the comeback. She's the comeback queen! Similarly, I also really appreciate her dedication to sarcasm (a club I am fondly a member of).
She's also the most confident character in the history of television. She's like the female Sam Malone (hey! name coincidence?) My new mantra when I go in for an audition is to think like Samantha. If I believe the world is mine for the taking, others will too.
Finally, she doesn't strive for gender equality, she just lives it. She's also not afraid to ask the questions and say or do the things that we know everyone wants to know, or say or do. She doesn't ask permission or apologize for her existence. She just exists. And I so admire that about her.
Lastly, and the thing most important about Samantha is that she is so loyal. And while confident, she is not proud. She forgives and forgets faster than any of the other characters. The number of times Charlotte has said something truly hurtful to her and she accepts her back in her life without another thought is incredible. I find that so strong and admirable. I am not like that. I am obsessive like Carrie. I think it was Miranda who said that Carrie's relationships needed a rear-view mirror because she was always looking back. That's me. Not Samantha. This may be pushing it and even as I'm thinking about writing it I'm in the process of rolling my eyes but, her "Slut" archetype and her casual sexual relationships are sort of a physical manifestation of her ability to accept as well as forgive and forget. It's the shallow aspect of the best parts of her.
All in all, I hope I am a Samantha and not a Carrie. Sexual choices aside (I don't really care what you do or don't do with your body and she does it safely... but I realize its a touchy issue. I'm not an idiot), I think she's the best role model of the four. She isn't judgmental, she is a fierce friend and exactly the kind of woman I wish I could be. So, I'm sorry to my friends for thinking all these years that you thought I was a one dimensional side kick. Thanks for seeing more in me than I did. I hope to live up to your expectations. And Kim Cattrall: you are my hero.
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